One of my all time favorite pastimes is “people watching.”  I should become a private investigator and get paid for this hobby that I love so much.  Maybe I could follow people on that Cheaters show.  When/if I retire, I will be most content spending my days with my saggy, elderly rearend planted on a bench at the mall, watching all the people go by.  Oh, I dream big.  No doubt about it!

What better place to people watch then at Chuck E. Cheese, where we spent this past weekend for AJ’s birthday party.  This is the best kind of people watching because you get to witness how other people parent.  Boy did we hit the jackpot!  As we stood waiting for someone to come and direct us towards the party table, I watched as a family rolled up in their Cadillac Escalade.  And not just any Cadillac Escalade, one with all the bells and whistles.  You know… the tinted windows, the shiny rims, the upgraded chrome package.

This family of 2 parents and 3 boys strolled on in like they owned the place.  For all I know, maybe they did!  All of a sudden, I hear her oldest son who was probably about 9 or 10, yell “NOT LIKE THAT, YOU IDIOT!”  Oh siblings, I thought to myself.  But as I turn to assess the situation using my wicked PI skills, I realize that he is not speaking to his brothers, he is speaking to his MOTHER!

I stared just waiting for him to get reprimanded.  Guess what?  I’m still waiting.  Do you know that that mother never even batted an eye at her son calling her an idiot??  She continued on with the conversation as if nothing completely horrible just came out of his mouth.

I will admit, I let my kids get away with inappropriate behavior from time to time.  I will also admit that I am a softie of a parent.  But I can guarantee you that if either of my kids ever called me an idiot, they would be wishing that it never made it up past their lips!

I was so caught up in this drama, I forgot that Kiki was watching it with me.  All of a sudden she turned toward me all wide eyed and said, “Mom, why did that boy just call his mom an idiot?”  I said, “I’m not sure, hon.  But that was horrible for him to say and I can’t believe she lets him talk to her that way.”  Kiki replied, “I would never call you an idiot, Mom!”  She is a smart little girl!!

In my humble opinion, that should have been the end of the Chuck E. Cheese trip for her family.  She should have marched them all right out the door, back to their Cadillac Escalade with all the bling, and drove them home.  Her oldest old son should have spent the rest of the day scrubbing the rims on the Caddy with a toothbrush or some such chore.

But that is just me.  I’m sure he still learned the same lesson by spending the afternoon frolicking about, stuffing his face with pizza instead of soap.  Yes, I’m positive that he has now learned how to properly treat his mother with respect.

Now if only we knew where they lived.  By now all three of her boys have probably turned on her and shoved her in a closet somewhere while her husband stares at his reflection in the Bling-mobile!

When I turned 16, along with my dreams of getting my license and a car of my own, came my father’s command: “Get a job!”  So I became a cashier at a local grocery store.  Coincidentally, I met my husband there.  It’s a really cute story that I will save for another day.

Anyway, during our training process, we were taught how to properly bag groceries.  I can still remember how to do it.  First you boxed out the sides, then you filled in the middle with cans and what not, and then you could put softer stuff on top of the cans.  And then there was the common sense stuff…keep cold items together, don’t put cleaning supplies in with food, don’t put eggs and bread on the bottom, and the list goes on.

Apparently, they have done away with that training program and they have stopped hiring people that have common sense!  Yesterday, I ran to the grocery store.  I always use the reusable grocery bags now and most of the time I pack my own.  But yesterday I was first in the check out lane so as I was unloading the cart, the cashier was ringing up.  One of her co-workers was bagging.  I hand him my stash of bags which includes some insulated ones as well.  He says, “Is there a heart or some kidneys in here I should know about it?”  HARDY-HAR buddy! Just pack my groceries please!

He bags the groceries, loads up my cart, I pay the bill, and I’m out of there like last year.  As I’m loading up my car I’m surveying the bags.  Let me ask you a question.  What would you put in the insulated grocery bags? My answer would be the cold items.  DING-DING-DING! I’m correct!  But Mr. Grocery Store Employee puts a pack of Pull-Ups in there.  That is the only item in the bag.  Now to be fair, they are the “Cooling Effect” Pull-ups so I can see the confusion.  Where are my cold things? They are in various other bags with various other things and not in insulated bags.  Then I find my frozen garlic bread snuggling up with my hair spray.  Glorious!!  I simply can’t wait to eat that garlic bread…garlicky with a hint of Suave.  That’s going to hit the spot!!

Where is the common sense? Where is the training course on how to properly bag groceries?  My old manager Lester would have had a coronary if we packed groceries in that fashion.  I stewed about it the whole way home and called my husband to share with him how our groceries were packed.  Having worked at the same grocery store with me, he felt my pain.    Now if anyone would like to come over for dinner tonight, I’m serving garlic bread!

We live in a quiet neighborhood, with the exception of all the little rugrats around here.  But at one end of our ‘hood, which backs up to our backyard, is a farm with lots of cows.  At the other end of the ‘hood, is another farm with even more cows and sheep.  It’s actually very nice.  In the late evening and early morning, you can actually hear them mooing.

So lately our quaint little place is being hit upon by thieves.  The past few mornings there have been emails from some our neighbors about burglaries that have happened to them throughout the night.  This seems to go in spurts.  A few months ago it was our cars being broken into and CD’s and GPS units were being stolen.

Now they are back.  A car window was smashed the other night and the latest was this am.  Apparently the burglar scaled their deck because it does not have steps coming off of it and came in their sliding door.  The alarm went off and the guy dropped her purse and ran.  The police said that they know who they think is responsible and that he just got out of lock up like yesterday!!  Unbelievable!!

Now I just started this blog last week and I have like 6 readers.  And I love every single one of you (hugs and kisses!)  But I’m going to address this next part to the low lives themselves who are stalking us in the night.  Obviously they won’t read it because they probably have to steal a computer to use one and if they had a computer they wouldn’t be on this blog, but it makes me feel better.

Y’know what would be cool, burglars?  If you got a job to support your drug habits or whatever it is you need money for and leave us the hell alone.  In these trying times, I think we are all feeling the crunch and we definitely don’t need you jerks taking our money, or electronics, and especially our sense of security. 

This concludes my rant.